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南京农业大学实验小学|袁苗烜 迟到的爱

  • 2026-07-25 08:27:14
南京农业大学实验小学|袁苗烜 迟到的爱

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迟到的爱

南京农业大学实验小学

六年级  袁苗烜

"今天我要加班，我已经让奶奶去接你了。"爸爸的声音从电话的那头传来。"啊！不是说好今天来接我的吗？天天加班，不如住在单位得了！"我抿紧嘴小声嘀咕着。
冷风呼呼地刮着，我下意识裹紧了身上的衣服。时间一分一秒地过去了，同学们也陆续走光了。天空飘起小雪，四点半、四点四十……才过了十分钟，可我觉得时间却如此的漫长。
不一会儿，我的头顶就落满了雪。这时，我看见一个矮矮胖胖的老人气喘吁吁地地往学校赶，手中抱着个东西，像是抱着什么宝贝一样，紧紧地护在身前，生怕被谁偷了去。
我一看，这不是奶奶吗！
我赶紧拿上书包，冲出校门。奶奶见我出来后，停了下来，她脸颊冻得通红，呼出团团白气，。
“你怎么才来啊！学校都要关门了！"我边卸下书包边指责道。
“对不起啊！乖孙女，我在路上给你买了你最爱吃的烤红薯。”奶奶一边接过书包一边愧疚地说道。说罢，奶奶就从怀中把那个“宝贝”拿了出来。
我打开红薯盒子，香气扑鼻而来，“宝贝”在这么冷的天气里不仅没有变凉，还冒着热气。奶奶抬起冻得通红的脸，说道：“快吃吧，再不吃要凉了。”这时，我的心里感到一丝愧疚。
我吃起了红薯，甜甜的暖意像一条河，从嘴流到喉咙，从喉咙流到心里。这时，我的心里甜甜的。
原来这就是爱，它无处不在，是这个世间最动人的温暖。

徐老师点评：

这篇习作以冬日等候放学、奶奶怀揣热红薯赶来的小事诠释“迟到的爱”，选材贴近日常，情感真挚细腻。文章巧用风雪、落雪的环境描写烘托独自等待时的委屈烦躁，通过奶奶护着红薯、冻红脸颊、满怀愧疚道歉等动作神态刻画，将长辈藏在烟火吃食里的温柔写得生动鲜活，“暖意像河流淌入心”的比喻优美贴切，清晰写出自身从埋怨到愧疚、再到满心温暖的心理转变，紧扣题目，结构完整。美中不足的是结尾收束稍显仓促，对“迟到”的深层含义挖掘不足，若补充一点事后回想奶奶平日里默默付出的细节，深化这份迟来读懂的爱意，文章立意会更厚重。

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  1. CONNECT:[ UseTime:0.000735s ] mysql:host=127.0.0.1;port=3306;dbname=h_mffb;charset=utf8mb4
  2. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `fenlei` [ RunTime:0.000982s ]
  3. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `fid` = 0 [ RunTime:0.000397s ]
  4. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `fid` = 63 [ RunTime:0.000287s ]
  5. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `set` [ RunTime:0.000607s ]
  6. SELECT * FROM `set` [ RunTime:0.000225s ]
  7. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `article` [ RunTime:0.000606s ]
  8. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` = 563806 LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.004234s ]
  9. UPDATE `article` SET `lasttime` = 1784951823 WHERE `id` = 563806 [ RunTime:0.007740s ]
  10. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `id` = 64 LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000340s ]
  11. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 563806 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000506s ]
  12. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` > 563806 ORDER BY `id` ASC LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000475s ]
  13. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 563806 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 10 [ RunTime:0.000657s ]
  14. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 563806 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 10,10 [ RunTime:0.000969s ]
  15. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 563806 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 20,10 [ RunTime:0.001118s ]
0.087401s